Adrian parked the car in the driveway as he and his beautiful wife, Hannah, arrived at home.
As they got out of the car, Hannah looked at the blooming flowers in their garden then at their two-story house, “It’s good to be home.”
Adrian opened the trunk, unloading their luggage. “Yeah, I missed the kids, but I’m really going to miss those white sandy beaches.”
Hannah went to the front door, unlocked it, and swung it open. Then she screamed.
Adrian looked up. “What?!”
Hannah stood motionless, so Adrian ran up to the doorway, standing behind her. He couldn’t believe his eyes as he stared around the room. “Oh, my goodness.”
Slices of half-eaten watermelon were all over the dining room table and the couch, empty red Solo cups were all over the floor in the family room and the kitchen, chunks of juicy ham soaked in barbecue sauce were on the couch and the stairs, and milk chocolate was smeared all over the curtains.
“Kevin!” Hannah screamed.
Kevin, Hannah’s 17-year-old brother, stumbled out of the master bedroom and arrived at the second-floor banister in nothing except his short polka dot boxer briefs, wiping his eyes with a yawn. “Oh, Hannah, you’re home.”
Hannah furiously shouted, “What happened here?! And where are my children?”
Just then, Ben and Angelica, ages 10 and 7, came out of their rooms and stood next to Kevin.
Angelica excitedly said, “Mom, you missed it! It was the party of the century!”
Ben hunched over, slurring his speech. “It was g—great. Keep the h—hits coming.”
Adrian looked at Kevin and asked, “Is my son hungover?”
Kevin wrinkled his eyebrows, slightly shaking his head. “What? No, of course not. I know you guys don’t drink or smoke and you definitely don’t permit alcohol or drugs in your house so none of that was here last night.”
Adrian wiped his forehead. “That’s a relief.”
Kevin chuckled. “Ben had a few too many chocolate candy bars last night. He’s having a sugar crash.”
Ben put his hands out, his eyes in a glaze as if he were a zombie. “Sweet candy. Sugary candy.”
Kevin gave Ben a Twix. “Here.”
Ben unwrapped the Twix. “Thanks, Uncle Kevin. I need a pick me up.” Then he shoved the candy bar in his mouth. With his mouth full, Ben said, “Oh, yeah. Crunchy candy bar. I needed you.”
Hannah pointed at the Twix bar and asked, “Where did that come from?”
“You don’t want to know,” Kevin answered.
Hannah shook her head in disbelief then asked, “Why is this place a disaster zone?”
Kevin put his hands on the banister, rocking back and forth. “Oh, you guys weren’t supposed to come home until tomorrow night. So, we were going to clean today.”
Hannah looked at her brother. “You’re unbelievable. You know that right?”
Angelica put her hands in the air and started dancing. “He’s unbelievably fun!”
Hannah rolled her eyes then walked toward the glass sliding door that opens to the backyard as she said, “Is my backyard trashed too?”
Kevin ran down the stairs and just as Hannah put her hand out to grab the handle, Kevin stepped in between Hannah and the door.
Kevin’s lips trembled. “You do not want to go out there.”
Hannah moved him aside. “You’re right, I don’t. But since it’s my house, I should probably see what happened out there.”
Hannah opened the sliding glass door and her jaw dropped as she looked out across their backyard. Her clothes and lingerie were spread all over the grass mixed with a ton of garbage.
They all walked out into the backyard as Hannah looked at her brother and said in fury, “Why are my unmentionables everywhere?”
Kevin looked around as he replied, “It’s all good, sis, there’s nothing to worry about.”
Hannah fired back, “What do you mean there’s nothing to worry about? Look at this!”
“Well, the girls were wearing your negligee over their clothes as they pretended to be Victoria Secret models and walk down the runway. Some of the guys were holding up signs to rate how hot they were.” Kevin let out a sly smile. “I gave two tens.”
Hannah was in disbelief. “Am I supposed to be impressed?”
“I was,” Kevin replied as he gave Ben a high-five.
Adrian walked over to the lingerie, picked up a see-through velvet lace top and said, “Ooh, this is my favorite.”
Hannah looked incredulously at her husband and sternly said, “Don’t encourage this, Adrian.”
Adrian dropped the lace top then looked down at a long silicone object on the ground. He pointed at it and laughed as he said, “That use to be your sister’s favorite, except me of course, until she lost it.”
Hannah came over, looked at the object and her eyes almost bulged out of her head as her cheeks turned bright red. Hannah picked up the item and put it behind her back.
Adrian put his hand out and said, “Do you want me to throw it away?”
Hannah whispered, “No way, I’ve been looking all over for this thing.”
Kevin said, “Yeah, a couple nerds in my math class found that and didn’t know what to do with it so they started using it as a light saber. They were going around hitting everyone on the head with it, but when the girls saw it, they started laughing.”
Hannah gave the item to Adrian while saying, “Yeah, throw it away.”
Adrian took the item, “Yep.”
Kevin pointed to another part of the backyard. “The nerds also found a small machine horse in your closet. They tried riding it, but said it wasn’t very fun.”
Hannah walked over to it. Once she realized what it was, she covered her eyes with a hand then turned back around, staring at Kevin. “My Sybian?”
Adrian laughed glancing at Kevin, “Yeah, that’s cause it’s not a horse.”
Adrian bent down and picked up a pair of his boxer briefs then said, “What did you guys do with my underwear?”
Kevin stared at the briefs. “Honestly, I have no idea. I wouldn’t touch that if I were you.”
Adrian immediately let go of his underwear and it fell to the ground.
Hannah looked at Kevin and said, “I can’t believe you let all this happen.”
Kevin put his hands up as he said, “It’s all good, sis.”
Angrily, Hannah replied, “How can you say it’s all good? It is not all good.”
Kevin let out a smile. “Well, this really hot senior came to the party and I was hoping to get her number, but when she saw how lit the party was, she took me into the garage and we made out for an hour.”
Hannah stared at her brother in disbelief. “You were making out for an hour while you were supposed to be watching my children?”
Kevin shrugged. “Well, she couldn’t keep her lips off me. Plus, Angelica was dancing on the table so everyone was watching her and Ben was in the dining room playing root beer pong with the sophomores. Plus, mom told me you made out with a ton of guys when you were fourteen, so I figured it was my turn.
Adrian looked at Hannah. “Wait, what? You told me you were a lip virgin.”
Kevin laughed, “Oh, you didn’t know your wife was a lip whore, huh?”
Angelica scrunched her eyes and looked at Hannah, “Mommy, what’s a whore?”
Hannah angrily looked at Kevin. Then she turned to Adrian and said, “I didn’t tell you to protect you.”
Adrian turned away, faking a wince. “Well, now I feel kinda violated.”
Ben put his hands out and started shaking his hips. “I wanna be just like uncle Kevin when I get older.”
Hannah replied, “No, you do not.”
Ben looked at his mom. “Yes, I do. He throws awesome parties and makes out with hot girls. Who wouldn’t want to be like him?”
Hannah rolled her eyes then looked at Kevin as she said, “And, he has to deal with the consequences of throwing ‘awesome’ parties, including starting to clean all of this up, right now.”
Kevin shook his head a bit. “Uh, wait, what? Right now? That hot senior is hitting me up. She wants to go get ice cream and try both of our flavors—if you know what I mean.”
Hannah replied, “I do know what you mean and it’s not going to happen today, or even next month.”
Kevin looked at Adrian then back at Hannah. “Uh, what are you talking about?”
Hannah let out a smile. “Wait until I tell mom. She is going to ground you for so long.”
Kevin’s face went still. He stared at Hannah for a couple seconds then said, “You wouldn’t. I’m your favorite brother.”
“You’re my only brother. And are you kidding me? Look at this place. Of course, I would. Mom grounded me for three months just for skipping school for a day. She’ll at least give you a month for this, maybe two.”
Adrian looked at Hannah. “Wait. Now you were skipping school? It’s like I don’t even know you.”
Hannah shook her head then bit her lip for a second. Her eyes glanced around as she said to Kevin, “If you start cleaning right now and make this place look as good as new, I’ll be inclined to not tell mom all the gory details and maybe she’ll bring it down to a week.”
Kevin immediately grabbed Ben’s left hand and Angelica’s right hand then said, “Come on, guys, it’s time to start cleaning.”
Ben shook his head. “I thought you were the cool uncle. Cool uncles don’t clean up garbage.”
Kevin bent down and picked up a Snickers wrapper. “Cool uncles don’t get grounded for three months. Being home alone that long gives you cabin fever, then you start making bad decisions and kissing girls named Big Bertha. Now come on, start cleaning.”
Kevin and the kids began to pick up the garbage.
Adrian and Hannah walked toward the house.
Just before they arrived at the sliding glass door, Hannah turned to Adrian and said, “Where do you think you’re going?”
Adrian looked at her for a moment then replied, “To watch TV while these kids clean up their mess.”
Hannah waved her finger. “Oh no you don’t, you’re cleaning too.”
Adrian protested, “But Kevin’s your brother. Plus, I wasn’t even here. I was with you.”
“That’s for the ‘It was her favorite, except me’ comment.”
Adrian cracked a smile. “That was funny and you know it.”
Hannah chuckled. “Yeah, it was funny, but you’re still not getting out of cleaning.”
Adrian stood there for a moment then said, “Oh, all right.” Then he turned around and began picking up garbage.
Hannah went inside, sat back on the messy couch, her face looking upward. A large piece of ham was stuck on the ceiling above her. “Oh, that’s just great,” she said aloud.
With a slurping sound, the ham unstuck from the ceiling and fell. Hannah sat up and the ham hit her in the back of the head, spewing tangy barbecue sauce all over her hair and shirt.
Angrily, Hannah yelled out the door, “Kevin! You are never watching my children again!”
Kevin called back, “I figured that once you walked in the door.” Then he gave Ben a high-five as he said, “But it was fun while it lasted.”
Adrian Harris is a writer, author, and business owner. He hopes to soon open his own movie studio and become a movie producer, director, and actor. Read Adrian’s Bio.
Adrian Harris is a writer, author, and business owner. He hopes to soon open his own movie studio and become a movie producer, director, and actor. Read Adrian’s Bio.
About six years ago, I received the worst possible revelation from the Holy Ghost you can possibly receive. The Holy Ghost told me to study the Book of Job. The moment he told me that, I immediately put my head down. I knew what God was saying.
The full scope of World War I is enormous. In this article, I discuss why World War I happened, the major battles, why the US entered the war, how World War I ended, how World War I led to World War II, the lessons we can learn from World War I, and how the current world geopolitical state of affairs is very close to breaking into World War III.
Denis (I believe it’s pronounced Deni. The s is silent. Denis is French and French words and names are never pronounced how they’re spelled. The same can be said for a lot of English words) Villeneuve’s Dune Part 2 was probably the most anticipated release of the year.
