This is a phenomenon everyone has noticed, but few people understand. For some inexplicable reason, women date and marry guys that treat them terribly. It baffles the male mind and even leaves some females scratching their head. All we can say is, “What was that woman thinking?”
Yet, many women do it again and again. It’s so prevalent that we’re forced to face the facts that there must be underlying reasons to explain why so many women date and marry men who are absolute jerks.
In this article I’ll explore those reasons and you’ll finally understand a mysterious aspect of female psychology that has baffled the male mind for millennia.
If you think about it, what kind of guy is a jerk to women? Only the kind of guy who easily attracts a lot of women. In other words, a guy that most women think is hot. So, this hot guy gets a ton of attention from women. He gets them easily so he’s not nice to them because he doesn’t need any woman in particular.
I found an article written by a woman on Elite Daily who perfectly explains the mean hot guy theory:
“I could have told you that the hottest guys also tend to be a**holes back when I was in 7th grade and Jonathan Helm, with his sexy, sandy hair and smoldering blue eyes (who still makes me weak to this day . . . I’ve Facebook stalked him), told me that he couldn’t kiss me because my “voice sucked” in Chorus class.
“Jonathan Helm, you are a bonafide douche, but I still would make out with you if I had the chance . . .
“And this, my friends, is why the most attractive guys can’t help but be jerks—because helplessly googly-eyed girls like me will keep coming back anyway . . .
‘“Personality comes the moment you realize your looks aren’t getting you anywhere. That moment has never come for them,’ fellow Elite Daily writer, Lauren Martin, explained . . .
“It’s not that you can change your boyfriend’s attractiveness by teaching him to act meaner (he’ll always be challenged in the looks department, no matter how many rude comments he makes at the group picnic #sorrynotsorry).
“It’s much more deep-rooted, cultivated over years of being told you are handsome and can land any girl, regardless of what comes out of your mouth. Holding them down, however, might be a different story . . .
“The reverse is also true: Less attractive guys are also pretty nice people . . .
“But who cares about these ugly peeps? There’s nothing to overanalyze there. We get why you’re nice and it’s a good thing you are! What we care about are those hot but mean bastards who keep our eyeballs entertained and our feelings hurt . . .
“The only thing bigger than these guys’ massive effect on you is their egos. No one has ever said, ‘I think we should just be friends’ to a man who looks like Bradley Cooper. As such, they think they can land pretty much any girl they desire (and they would be largely correct).
“Hot dudes are a**es because they never had to work for it. They’re used to women fawning over them instantly, and thus they don’t know how to handle a challenge.
“Really sexy guys don’t need to be interesting to draw people in, they have their extraordinarily good looks to do that for them. They’re mean because they can get away with it because we’re all too distracted anyway with their charming features. Hot guys never had to be super crafty or cunning or sweet to get what they want.
“Clueless girls will continue to come their way even when you announce on your Facebook status that ‘Michael M. is a huge toolbag!’ Hot guys might be mean but they aren’t dumb; they’ve learned from experience that girls will keep coming back anyway. Because don’t we all shamefully, and masochistically, always fall for the guy who is an unavailable douchebag?
“It’s hard to be humble when you’re just so handsome, said every mean, hot guy ever. They never had to be nice to get what they wanted. They didn’t try for anything. When a waiter came to take the table’s orders, she unconsciously gave him extra-good service. These men know they are attractive and it only further serves to cripple them.”
If you don’t know by now: Women want hot guys.
Let me say it again to be clear: Women want hot guys.
When they see a hot guy, they can’t not want him. It is biologically wired into their brains. That means that hot guys easily get women left and right. So, they can be jerks to women because even if the one he’s with right now leaves, he knows he can easily replace her with another woman.
Hot guys have never been rejected by women, so they’ve never had to even try to get women. It just comes naturally because of their looks.
But because getting women is so easy for them, they’ve never developed their personality which means they are often duller than dull and meaner than mean.
If you look at it from a character development standpoint, the rewards for their good looks have stunted their character growth.
Plus, if a hot guy is also a good guy, guess what happens: He gets snatched up by a woman very quickly.
So, what happens is there are all these hot guys who are jerks who can get a woman initially, but can’t keep a woman long term because they treat her like garbage. So, that hot guy dates the next and the next and the next, never being able to lock one down long term. Then, all the women who’ve dated him think all guys are jerks, when the reality is—a lot of the hot guys who are available are jerks.
This is the first reason so many women date and marry jerks.
Let’s dive even deeper.
Teal Swan is a female Youtuber with a pretty large following. I think she really has hit the nail on the head with regard to why so many women date and marry jerks:
‘“Nice guys’ tend to be passive, submissive, inactive, and retreating. They tend to follow instead of lead. They can be codependent and insecure. They’re usually always agreeable to the degree that they lack boundaries and a sense of what’s actually good or safe. They tend to feel energetically small and therefore unable to protect and [safely] contain a woman.
“To the opposite, men who are masculine tend to take the leadership role. They’re protective, they have direction in life, they’re creative, they are strong, they tend to provide, they have good social skills, they have drive, they’re encouraging, possess charisma and confidence, they tend to have high energy levels, they take positive ownership of the woman in their life, they take action, they provide [safe] containment for the feminine.
“In other words, it has nothing to do with whether or not a guy is nice. In fact, when men say, ‘Well, no woman really wants me because I’m a nice guy.’ That’s actually just a cop-out. It’s a way of avoiding looking at the real issue which is the fact that men who say that lack these qualities which women need in a relationship in order to feel good. And guess what: You really need to separate niceness from this whole conversation we’re having because a guy could have all of those [masculine] traits and be a super nice guy and pretty much every woman would prefer that guy.
“So, the real question is: Why would a woman choose an a**hole with those traits over a nice guy without those traits?
“The first thing we’re going to look at is biology . . . What I’m about to tell you is an element of female biology that does not need to be ‘fixed.’ We may prefer to have evolution have changed this already, but it’s not the reality.
“For a woman, physically, attraction is about matching up with a person who will protect you, produce healthy offspring, and provide for you and those offspring. The man is your ticket to survival.
“No matter how much the modern world has changed and no matter how much feminists absolutely hate looking at that truth, it’s still the truth for women today on a physical biological level.
“A vulnerable male leaves a woman in the position to feel like she has to do it all herself and fend for herself. This means that a male who lacks masculinity or those masculine traits which a woman needs in a relationship in order to feel good, she ultimately feels alone, or at best, with a nice sidekick or servant. But, with a sidekick or servant at best, she’s not with somebody who can actually [safely] contain and protect her. And so, in fact, all the pressure of the world is on her and that’s not a natural state of being for a physical female.
“Also, for women, fear is woven into her biological experience. It is encoded in her entire nervous system. Essentially, fear is the baseline experience for women on earth whether they are aware of it or not. And guess what: When a woman has people [she] cares about, like a partner and like children, this fear only multiplies . . .
“At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how nice a guy is if he can’t provide a woman with the feeling that she is contained. She will feel exposed to the world and, therefore, like there’s nothing between herself and all the various threats in the world.”
“On top of this, most of these masculine traits are associated so strongly with testosterone, things like confidence. And the reality is, higher testosterone levels the more [a woman] will be attracted to a man, especially, when a woman’s ovulating.”
Teal Swan finally explains why “Nice Guys” finish last:
‘“Nice Guys’ finish last . . . I’m going to tell you right now it’s because no woman wants a weak male. It is disgusting. I’m going to just be honest with you because most women aren’t honest . . . This is what you’ve got to understand. Women don’t want an a**hole . . . No woman wants an a**hole.
“A lot of the men who have ignored the social moral standards and who aren’t captive in the web of ‘How I must behave in order to be perceived by other people.’ These are the kind of guys who move forward, despite how other people feel. So, a lot of the people who do have that forward moving energy, [who we’re equating to being] not a nice guy, they are the ones who are able to put all of their energy into something and move completely forward. And what we know about masculine energy, especially, is that it is a forward moving energy first and foremost. It is the energy of encouragement. It is the energy of providing. It is literally forward moving, like crazy. Femininity tends to be more receptive, open . . .”
Polarity must be present in order for there to be sexual attraction. No woman is attracted to a feminine man, and no man is attracted to a masculine woman.
This is what Feminism has all wrong. Feminism pushes women to be masculine and men to be feminine. It flips the polarity thereby causing no one to be attractive to the opposite sex.
To learn more about what is wrong with Feminism, read my article, “Why Most Of Feminism Today Is Poison.”
Teal Swan explains in depth why “Nice Guys” have no polarity and thus cannot attract women:
“When it comes to polarity, no woman is attracted to a receptive type of individual. And receptivity in a male doesn’t feel like, ‘Oh, I’m open to what you think.’ No. When I’m talking receptivity in a male in the negative sense, it’s passivity. And that makes a female turned off—there’s no polarity. And it makes us feel unprotected and as if there is not going to be anything that this male can do in our lives or for us.
“Basically, ‘nice men’—men that are considering themselves nice have zero ownership whatsoever and that is never going to turn a woman on . . . It’s very important for the forward moving energy of the masculine . . . to take ownership of the people in their lives. Now, when they do that it’s almost like they put a container, and it’s a safe container, around the people in their lives. This is different than control . . . To really genuinely own something, you have to take it as a part of yourself. Now I know that you all know of the a**hole who’s horrible in relationships but he takes completely perfect care of his mint condition Ferrari. That is the degree to which taking something as part of yourself has to happen but within the context of relationships for a guy to be a good guy but also super-forward moving go-getter type of guy . . .
“The masculine is so out of alignment right now, I have no words for you . . . Femininity too, but honestly, femininity will come into alignment with masculinity coming into alignment . . . Masculinity might as well be in the ICU on the planet today with how much is wrong with it and how much we have destroyed it and how much society has gone against it . . .
“But usually, the nice guys don’t know how to be nice and move forward at the same time—they don’t know how to be nice and actually invite their masculinity at the same time. And we have to take responsibility as women. When men started to go into shadow masculinity what we did is we killed the masculine . . . This is what happens in history. Men who are primarily out of alignment because of the things they’re starting to do they started to take that energy that is very much a controlling and ownership type of energy and they started to go to the shadow with it. When men go to the shadow with it, you’re looking at forms of manipulative control, you’re looking at outright violence, and you’re looking at all the things that which, women, of course, have been oppressed by for thousands of years.
“Now, what women did because physically we are not actually capable of coming up against that thousands of years ago is we took revenge on our sons. We basically raised them to not be men. And that’s where we went completely out of alignment. We actually got rid of the male and we raised little boys, essentially, who had the brakes on to such a degree that they couldn’t be men anymore and now we’ve lost traction for them completely.
“And to be honest, we’ve gotta come out of this because right now we’re headed toward a world where men have no value. That should scare the c*** out of everybody, including women. We’re actually headed towards a world where women do everything and the only reason for a man is sperm donation. Now, this is not truth. I mean, it’s not a good thing we’re headed in this direction because we’re taking for granted the valuable things that we desperately need out of masculine energy. But we have to be aware that we’ve all headed there and so both men and women play a part in the destruction of masculinity and thus the destruction of femininity came along with it as a natural 1-2 step.
“But I’m going to contradict. Even though it seems like these men who are not good guys who are forward moving, get everything, and get the girls too—it’s not accurate. It’s just the norm. It is fully possible for a guy who is genuinely a good guy to move completely forward with his energy, take complete ownership, and be fully in the masculine. He would be the hottest man on the face of this earth. He could get as much sex as he wanted, but he probably wouldn’t want just sex, would he, if he was in alignment with the masculine.
“There is a weakness which has nothing to do with being sweet, it has to do with the way that they behave in general . . . It is impossible to be turned on by these men. It’s impossible to feel matched by these men . . . I’m telling you, literally, to be in alignment as a female, you have got to let yourself be led by someone. And so, these types of men, who are super super sweet, they can’t frickin’ lead you. They can’t do it. And when push comes to shove and it’s a difficult situation, that sucker’s gonna let you be the one in charge. That is scary as h*** as a female. So, that is the main reason why as a female there is no way in h*** I would go for a ‘sweet guy’ over a guy who’s aggressive . . . We would rather have both.
“When a man is able to create that containment, meaning with his strength and his forward moving energy he’s able to create a safe space for a female . . . what it enables a female to do is to go into receptivity and the energy is a bit of a flower blooming inside of a box.”
The need for polarity and for a masculine man goes right into what women really want. Teal Swan explains it this way:
“I’m going to hit you out of the bat with something that most feminists are going to hate. Ready for this?
“So many women, in fact most women, would rather choose to be owned, even if that comes with the side dish of being controlled, than to be completely free, but having to fend for themselves all the time . . .
“Let’s talk about positive ownership . . . because you’ve got so many negative projections on the idea of ownership. To positively own something is to take it as a part of yourself. Obviously, if something’s a part of you it belongs to you in some way, right? However, when something becomes a part of you, it is impossible to hurt that thing without hurting yourself. It’s impossible for it not to be a priority to act in that thing’s best interest. This means with true positive ownership, the best interests of that thing is your utmost concern.
“So, let’s apply this to men and women. When a masculine energy takes positive ownership of a female, the best interest of that female is the man’s utmost concern. Guess what: This makes a woman feel safe and secure.”
For those who believe in the Bible, I believe this is the true meaning behind the symbolism of Eve being made from Adam’s rib.
The truth is: Women need good men. If women choose to date and marry jerks, sooner or later they’ll end up being single mothers.
This is what Teal Swan has to say about single mothers:
“I’m gonna be aggressive because nobody wants to hear this, because what you want me to say today is: ‘Actually, being a single mother is totally possible.’ It actually isn’t. It was never meant to happen for the human race, number one. Number two: Single biggest determiner of whether [a person] is a good mother, what do you think it is? This is gonna blow your mind when I tell you the answer.
“The major argument for good dads is actually: Can the dad be there for the mom?
“Because it’s like a direct chain . . . What you see is that if you’ve got a father figure basically, who is supportive to the mother, the mother’s energy goes towards the children.
“But the second she doesn’t have that supportive energy she collapses . . . and then the kids get starved.
“[Those who grew up with a single mom are] victim[s] of a society that was never meant to work this way.”
Is that true? What do the stats show?
An article from CA.gov says, “A report from the U.S. Census Bureau reveals that 62% of new moms in their early 20s are unmarried. The report also found that 36% of all moms were unwed in 2011, up from 31% in 2005. In families with incomes of less than $10,000, that number goes up to 69%. Single moms are one of the most disadvantaged groups in the U.S. . . .
18.4% of all births in the U.S. in 1980 were to unmarried women
40.6% of all births in the U.S. in 2008 were to unmarried women
“In 1960, just 5 million children under 18 lived with only their mother. By 1980 that number had more than doubled. Today, according to the Annie E. Casey Foundation, 19 million children live in single-mother families, up from 17 million in 2000. In some school districts today, including several in New York and Michigan, the majority of families are led by a single mother. Twenty-five million children are growing up without fathers in the home. That’s 40% of the kids in America.
“As reported by the Center for Children and Families:
40% of all live births in the US are to single mothers.
90% of welfare recipients are single mothers.
70% of gang members, high school dropouts, teen suicides, teen pregnancies and teen substance abusers come from single mother homes.
“Statistically, a child in a single-parent household is far more likely to experience violence, commit suicide, continue a cycle of poverty, become drug dependent, commit a crime or perform below his peers in education.”
So, clearly Teal Swan hit the nail on the head. Without a good husband and father in the home, it is almost impossible for a single mother to give her children the love, attention, and teaching they need in order to become well-adjusted adults in society.
Once again, women need good men. Women desperately need good men to help them raise good children. Not only that, but children desperately need both a good mother and a good father or their chances for success and happiness in life vastly diminish.
The fact that “Nice Guys” simply aren’t masculine men and that jerks are generally masculine has a lot to do with why women date and marry jerks.
However, according to Teal Swan, there are several more reasons behind this phenomenon:
“1. We get our subconscious definition of love from our childhood home. This means that if little girls had a**holes for daddies, there is a likelihood that they will actually associate more love in an environment with an a**hole than with a nice guy.
“2. There is a dynamic in some women, especially women who have extremely low self-esteem, where if they encounter a man who is aloof and who refuses to commit, it actually triggers her own feelings of not being good enough and that causes an automatic reaction of a desperate need to actually prove that she’s good enough . . . and she begins to chase his approval. She tries to get him to want her and to commit to her.
“3. There’s a sad element to codependency. Now, a lot of women develop in their lives a strategy of codependency in their relationships. Now, one of the elements of codependency is you’ve got such a deep level of shame that you don’t actually feel like you’re worthy of being with somebody who is good or who is functional . . . It also serves as an externalized way of fixing and loving the part of them they think is completely unlovable.
“4. A lot of women believe that a**holes are actually more straightforward than the nice guys. There’s a lot of talk in the female world that ‘nice guys’ only complain about the fact that girls don’t like them and like a**holes instead because they are upset that their nice guy behavior doesn’t get them laid more. Meaning that nice guys might just be every bit as much of an a**hole, but a manipulative covert one. Women actually see niceness often, as an act, a way of bribing her to give him what he wants.”
Teal Swan explained a lot of these concepts super well. Women love men who are confident, dominant, masculine, unpredictable, exciting, forward moving, and who don’t care what others think.
There’s another massive mistake all the “Nice Guys” make. You ready for this:
When a man puts a woman on a pedestal, she can only look down on him. Women are only attracted to men who are better than them in pretty much every way. Women want men to make more money than them, be smarter than them, be taller than them, be stronger than them, etc.
In essence, women want a man who is superior to them.
So, if a man puts a woman on a pedestal, it signals to her that she is superior and thus she can never be attracted to that man.
For all those guys out there who are putting women on pedestals, I need you to understand something very important: Few women are actually good women.
I’m going to blow pretty much every man’s mind right now.
Women are super horny and they love and want sex really bad. If you don’t believe me, check out this video or just ask Reddit, Quora, or Google.
The fact that women are super horny doesn’t make them bad people, it’s what comes next that makes so many of them bad people.
A ton of women have high body counts (how many men they’ve had sex with) that are in the double digits or even triple digits. Furthermore, a ton of women are cheating on their boyfriends and even their husbands. If you don’t believe me, check out this video where women admit to their real body count (for the most part) and explain that they cheated on their ex but never told him. Here are two videos (one, two) of women who got caught cheating on their husbands.
There is a growing notion on the internet that women actually cheat more than men (you can check out this video and this video). It’s hard to know for sure what the truth is because people never fess up to cheating until they’ve been caught. So, it’s only much later after the fact that we can know what was really happening all along.
An article from the National Library of Medicine says this: “This study established a strong association between number of sex partners and later substance disorder, especially for women, which persisted beyond prior substance use and mental health problems more generally.”
So, we have a medical study stating that when it comes to women, there is an association between a higher body count and mental health problems as well as substance abuse.
The fact of the matter is: Women lie about their body count. It’s almost always much higher than what she says it is. If you don’t believe me, check out this video from Olivia Alexa.
My point with all this is that women are having a lot more sex, in fact, a ton more sex than the vast majority of men are aware of. Along with all this sex is the fact that a ton of these women have serious mental problems, substance abuse problems, and are cheating on their boyfriend/husband.
Women who have a high body count have no self-control. That’s a fact. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Self-control is the basis of trust. If either person in a relationship does not have self-control, that relationship will inevitably deteriorate and will eventually come to an end. If women do not practice self-control while having strong sexual urges before marriage there is no possible way they will be able to exercise self-control when they are experiencing strong sexual urges once they’re married (the same is true for men). So, women who have a high body count not only are much more likely to have mental health problems and substance abuse problems, but they are also more likely to cheat on their boyfriend/husband.
Circling back to my point: Men should not put women on a pedestal. This is evidenced by what women really do and who they really are.
I wish that was the end of it, but it’s not.
A ton of women are highly manipulative. Manipulation comes in many forms. Ultimately, people manipulate to get what they want while using the other person. Here’s a video of a woman telling women they should have three men.
She says a woman should have #1: Her main boyfriend. Then a woman should have #2: Her side piece. Then a woman should have #3: Her backup.
Translation:
Guy #1 is the guy with money who spends a ton of his time working and making money, and thus is not able to spend much time with his woman.
Guy #2 is the hot guy who treats her like garbage that she only has sex with.
And Guy #3 is the “Nice Guy” who she does not have sex with but who fills her need for time, attention, and emotional connection.
Guys, are you seeing this? Are you seeing how women are using and manipulating you? She is literally using every single man in her life. Honestly, it makes me sick that this is what women have allowed themselves to become. And it makes me sick that men let women use them like this.
Guys, you cannot allow yourself to give a woman a ton of your time, attention, and emotional connection if she will not be in a relationship with you. DO NOT DO IT. She is using you. In essence, you become her ATTENTION SLUT. That is literally what is happening. She is taking advantage of you and using you to fill her need for attention and emotional connection. She has zero desire to be in a relationship with you. If a woman won’t go on dates with you, forget about her and date other women who will. If you allow a woman to use you in this way, she will do it every single time all while thinking you’re super weak because you aren’t dropping her like a bad habit. That’s the way they think. You’ve been warned.
The fact of the matter is that a ton of women out there do not care about men at all. Not one bit. If you don’t believe me, here’s a video every man on planet earth needs to watch of women saying how they only care about a man’s money.
So, women manipulate one man for his money, another for his time and attention, and a third for his body. For all the complaining women do about how terrible men are, this is much worse in many ways.
How does all this end? Quite predictably. A ton of women get married to a good man who slaves his life away for years or even decades trying to provide for her and her children. Then, at some point, the wife gets a little bored and asks for a divorce when there was nothing really wrong with the relationship.
Here are two videos (one, two) of women who’ve asked for a divorce then regretted it.
Basically, a ton of women spend their twenties and thirties using men, one after another, never caring about any of them.
But an interesting thing happens. She gets a divorce from a good husband in her late 30’s or 40’s then thinks she’s going to live it up. Sure, she has a bunch of meaningless sex, but no man will commit to her. So, she ends up flooding her pillow every night with how lonely she is. You can check out this video or this video to see the truth of it.
So, they eventually do get the consequences of their decisions to use men over the years.
It’s interesting though, each woman’s tears are not about how she’s seriously emotionally damaged her own children or about how she’s destroyed her relationship with a good man or even about how she’s humiliated herself and lost all credibility. No, instead her tears are only about her—that she is lonely.
Guys, are you seeing this? Are you seeing what so many women are really like?
There are so few good women out there that as men, we have to do a lot of examination and re-examination of a woman before we marry her. We can’t just close our eyes and jump in and hope it will be okay. We have to make a sound logical decision based on evidence and we cannot afford to avoid red flags.
There is no shortage of videos on the internet where women reveal who they really are. The fact of the matter is that most women lie all the time about who they really are and what they’ve really done because they know society would shame them and they’d have no friends and no men to exploit.
My point with all this is that if you’re a guy out there and you’re putting women on a pedestal, you clearly have no concept of who and what women really are. Women put on an innocent angelic act. That’s all it is. It’s an act. It’s a façade. They do it because it’s what society expects from them. They also do it because it’s useful to manipulate men. Most women absolutely do not care about men at all and they don’t care about women either.
Feminism has taught women that they are their own gods. Their every whim and desire must be fulfilled even if they must destroy everyone else—including the man they married and their children, including their own unborn children. It’s a very sad state a lot of women have descended to.
If you don’t believe me, check out this video from Sadia Khan, a female Psychotherapist and Youtuber who said:
And Narcissists they are. As well as Machiavellian.
Here’s her entire quote because it is so spot on: “We’ve created a generation of narcissistic women. And what’s happened is the rise of social media and the rise of online dating has taught women that they are not to blame for any poor choices. Every poor choice is glamorized and every internal reflection is seen as gaslighting yourself so they’ve even got terms for internal reflection and to prevent it happening. And so, we don’t take any accountability and as a result when we get into relationships if we don’t feel completely soothed all the time, he must be a narcissist.”
By having high body counts, cheating on their boyfriends and husbands, being narcissistic, Machiavellian, and manipulative, women have gone into shadow feminism. I don’t mean every single woman. But it’s clear a ton of women have gone into shadow feminism.
Because this is happening, a lot of men have quit women. Many have stopped dating women altogether. 63% of males between the ages of 18-30 are single, compared to 34% of women in the same age bracket.
When you honestly analyze what women have become and the severe financial punishments men get for divorce, it’s hard to blame men for not wanting to date.
Here’s the bold truth few people are talking about:
When’s the last time you ever heard a woman say, “I chose wrong. I simply chose wrong. I always choose the jerks.”
Never.
This is the way it goes.
Man treats woman like garbage. Woman stiff-arms all of the guys in her friend zone who would treat her well and chooses to date and marry the man who treats her like garbage. Man abuses woman. Woman says she’s the victim.
What is that called?
Stupidity.
I mean, really?
Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s absolutely awful that any man would abuse a woman. It’s absolutely terrible. It should never happen.
But if we’re being honest with ourselves, the fact that we’re even having this conversation is because so many women choose to date guys who treat them terrible then turn around and play the victim card when those same men abuse them. Then they say, “All men are jerks.”
I’m sorry. What? You left 5-10 guys (or more) in your friendzone who would’ve treated you well then you chase after the one guy who treats you terrible. No, I’m sorry, all guys are not jerks.
But the fact of the matter is: It seems a lot of women love being treated terribly. It seems like they love being treated like garbage. It seems like they’re masochists.
How could they possibly think they’re not going to be abused by a man that treats them like garbage? There is just a major disconnect between their thinking and reality. Then they get upset when the guy who treated them like garbage continues to treat them like garbage. I mean, there is a real level of psychopathy here. There is something fundamentally wrong with these women.
You would think the rational response would be: “I chose the guy who treated me like garbage, and not surprisingly, he continued doing so.” But no. You literally never hear that from a woman, ever.
I think women are a lot less of a victim in these cases than they’d like to admit. They knew what was going to happen from the very beginning. I’m sure that occasionally, there are a few guys who appear to be nice, then later on get abusive. But even then, there are signs, and women totally ignore them.
This is perfectly depicted in the movie It Ends With Us. When Lily and Ryle first meet, Ryle says something along the lines of, “Oh, I don’t do relationships. Love isn’t for me. Lust is nice though.”
Red flag. Massive red flag.
What does Lily do? Ignore it. She’s literally kissing him a few minutes later.
At another time, Ryle’s sister literally points at Ryle and says to Lily, “I’ve seen this man go through so many women. If you want meh, this is a great option. But if you really want a relationship, this is not the man for you.”
Like, dang. Could it be any clearer? The man’s own sister is saying, “Run!”
Massive red flag once again ignored.
There are other signs in the movie as well, but those are very clear signs that she should not be in a relationship with this man.
I find it highly likely that the women who are abused are shown massive red flags and completely choose to ignore them. So, how can they be surprised when it happens?
The bottom line is women need to take ownership for their own decisions and stop playing the victim. If you don’t want to be abused, don’t date guys who treat you like garbage. It really is that simple. But this is what people have been saying for millennia, so it feels like a futile battle to get some of these women to understand any logic.
The interesting thing is: If women really wanted to significantly decrease domestic violence, they wouldn’t date or marry guys who treat them like garbage. It really is that simple.
In fact, by dating and marrying jerks and stiff-arming guys who would treat them well, it means more guys will become jerks because women constantly reward that behavior.
Continuing with the notion of putting women on a pedestal, “Nice Guys” get their self-value from women. That is an absolutely terrible mistake. How are you going to let how much you value yourself be determined by a person that is fickle? By a person who doesn’t even know what she wants?
Getting your self-value from women is a sure-fire way for a man to have low self-esteem and to get walked all over by women. These are the kind of men that women refer to as a doormat. She insults you and you stay with her. She talks to other guys and you stay with her. She cheats and you stay with her.
By getting your self-value from women, you are teaching women to treat men like garbage because you reward their bad behavior by staying with them.
The antidote to this is self-respect. If your woman insults you, you tell her to not do that again. If she continues to do that, you break up with her.
If your woman is talking to other guys, you tell her to stop. If she won’t stop, you break up with her.
If a woman cheats, you break up with her. Never ever take back a woman who cheats. Ever. Period. If she has cheated once, she will cheat again. This is why you should never date a woman who has cheated on a previous boyfriend or husband. She will cheat again. She has already proved she has no self-control.
Men cannot allow themselves to derive their self-value from women. Instead, we should get our self-value from God and from the fact that we’re chasing greatness in our career and in our life.
Getting self-value from women goes right in line with the next mistake “Nice Guys” make.
Do not do that. Ever. If you do, women will see you as weak.
Your whole world should be on chasing greatness in your career and in your life. Then, you can invite a woman to become a part of your life, but never the center of it. The moment you make a woman the center of your life, she will resent you and leave you.
The moment you get your sense of self-value from a woman she will see how weak you are and leave you.
As discussed throughout this article, it’s clear there are enormous differences between male psychology and female psychology. The polarity of men and women has been flipped. Feminism has a lot to do with that.
But that’s not the only reason it’s happened.
Women are attracted to masculine men, so they emulate masculine traits because that is what they are attracted to, and they think that is what men are attracted to.
They couldn’t be more wrong.
Men are attracted to feminine women, so they emulate feminine traits because that’s what they are attracted to, and they think that’s what women are attracted to.
They too, couldn’t be more wrong.
Polarity between the sexes is crucial for sexual attraction.
A major factor in why so many women date and marry jerks is because jerks are masculine. They are strong, independent, leaders, and confident.
A major factor in why “Nice Guys” don’t attract women is because they’re needy and passive.
It turns out that the key behind understanding the phenomenon behind why so many women date and marry jerks lies in understand human psychology and in understanding that women really want hot masculine men.
Adrian Harris is a writer, author, and business owner. He hopes to soon open his own movie studio and become a movie producer, director, and actor. Read Adrian’s Bio.
Adrian Harris is a writer, author, and business owner. He hopes to soon open his own movie studio and become a movie producer, director, and actor. Read Adrian’s Bio.
*Comedy Short Story
Adrian parked the car in the driveway as he and his beautiful wife, Hannah, arrived at home. As they got out of the car, Hannah looked at the blooming flowers in their garden then at their two-story house, “It’s good to be home.”
Feminism today says it’s all about empowering women. But is that really the case? In this article I’ll take a close look at the ideologies, goals, and positions of Feminism today and assess their impact and consequences on women and their children, as well as men.
Wicked is the Prequal to the 1939 The Wizard of Oz. Wicked stars Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo. Just like The Wizard of Oz, Wicked is a musical. You should know that this movie is Part 1 and as of right now, Wicked: Part 2 is expected to come out November 21, 2025.
